Each day ain't wine and roses

Okay, so maybe I sound a little optimistic in my postings. I really don't think life is a bowl of strawberries handed to you, that all traffic lights are green when they should be, and that adoptions - along with raising an adopted child of another race - are easy. I am aware of the difficulties in the adoption process and all the things that can and will go wrong. I know that having a child will change my life and make it more difficult than it is now. I know there is a lot of grief in the world, not just in those impoverished countries, but in our everyday lives here in our comfy american homes. People get sick and suffer long and hard before they die. People commit suicide at the young age of 23. Children and animals suffer at the hands of cruel and sick adults. Teenagers gun down innocent people or throw boulders off overpasses at cars on highways. Adults hurt each other every day, even the people they love, even their own family. Pain and suffering is caused by senseless or freak accidents, or by callous, inconsiderate, or perverted individuals. Traffic lights are never green when you're in a hurry. Love at first sight sometimes ends in pain.

But that's life. That's the human condition. (Wow, I'm actually using something from my useless Philosophy degree.) It stinks. But would I rather focus on the bad and become paralyzed by lack of action in the face of so many horrific things in the world? Should I sit at home and not go visit my friends or take a trip because I could be killed by a drunk driver? Should I avoid pursuing a connection with someone because I might get hurt? Should I not adopt a child because it will be difficult? Absolutely not! Because with life and all that the human condition entails comes not only pain but great joy. Like seeing a dog run in a field or a child play with a toy or a parent laugh at your jokes. Having people understand you, making a connection with others, knowing that you make a difference to someone. I'd rather focus on those things than bitterness, anger, hatred, fear, or guilt.

On the idea of adopting a child making my life more difficult... I am not naive enough to think that there won't be challenges. There are challenges in your "normal" family with mom, dad, and 2.5 kids. Being a single mom to a child from another race will bring some of those same challenges, and also some new ones. But I welcome those challenges, because along with them, I will be given the opportunity to not only make a difference in someone else's life, but to have my life enriched by this unique and special human being.

Take the bad with the good or sit back and take nothing. One of my favorite songwriters who shall remain nameless has a line in a song that goes something like this: "Will you believe in love or just sit around and judge?" Actually, the whole song is worth quoting so here it is:

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I tell you it will shake the earth beneath your feet
The light that shines will redefine your old beliefs
What you reap is what you sow and so it goes
Where you plant your needs is where your garden grows
Before you think about yourself
Think of someone else, it will make you feel

Each day ain't wine and roses
I doubt it's meant to be
Always a cross to bear salvation don't come free
A heart that beats is a heart that bleeds
And you know that's true
So don't deny yourself of something good for you
Before you do it for yourself, do it for someone else
That makes it real

Cause when you love someone
It don't matter what you say
When you love someone
You will dance the night away
When you love someone
There ain't nothing you can't do
Ain't that right
Yeah I want to love someone tonight

Will you believe in love or just sit around and judge?
Can you forgive someone or will u hold a grudge?
Cuz above selfishness there lies a bright blue sky
And wealth and happiness can be a long and lonesome ride
Yes it's hard to steer yourself
Without that someone else to take the wheel
Take the wheel

Do you believe in the art of growing old
Do you believe that rock n roll can save your soul
Do you believe in everything you do
Cuz when you do that's when it all comes back to you
Before you think about yourself
Think of someone else
Do it for yourself
And do it for someone else

When you love someone -

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Okay, I guess posting that song (minus the rock and roll saving your soul part) has just proved that I'm more of a romantic and an idealist than a realist, contrary to what I set out to prove in this post. I just can't help but be optimistic about adopting Meke and about life in general. I've not always been this way and don't know if I will be forever, but looking forward to my life with Meke in it definitely is a big part of my mindset right now. Even despite the fact that I heard today that the opening of the hospital's day care center for employees has been delayed. Yikes!

I'm not good at this posting stuff. I wish I could write as well as my sisters who majored in English. Now there's a major I could still be using, and for what better purpose than to tell my story about adopting Meke.