Many people ask me why I'm adopting, but not so much why I'm adopting from Ethiopia. Which surprises me, because everyone in the adoption circles talks about the fallout from the transracial aspect of white americans adopting african children and dealing with prejudice and ignorance in society. But why I would adopt in the first place seems to stump some people. So they ask me things like, "You do realize your life is going to change, right?" "You do know that you won't be able to go out like you like to do, right?" "You do know that having a child is a lot of responsibility, RIGHT?" Really??? They must ask these things because they couldn't imagine themselves adopting a child in my situation, certainly not to insult my intelligence!
Two separate people have also said to me that by adopting a child, and especially a child from another race, I could be limiting the field of potential suitors (aka, decreasing my date-ability) since men may not want to a.) date a woman with a young child, or b.) date a white woman with a black child, or c.) date a white woman with a young black child. Now, I'm pretty darn tolerant of people and believe that everyone has a right to their own feelings and ideas, but I have a hard time understanding how I am to react to something like that. Logically, should I NOT pursue my lifetime goal to adopt and be a mother, in the hopes that some man might want me more?? Wouldn't I be lowering myself and foregoing my dreams in the hopes that someone who isn't compatible with me at all would ask me out? Also, doesn't this line of thinking assume that I'd be only dating white men?
But I digress.
I've always wanted to adopt a needy child. First of all, I think I will be a good mother and friend. (Although it's scary to think of a child being raised by just me, when I haven't even grown up yet myself!) Second, I love children. Third, there are many children out there that need good homes. I have a home, love children, and (crazily) think that I will be a good mother. It could be the perfect storm.
More on why I'm adopting from Ethiopia in a future post...
New website and blog :-)
11 years ago
1 comments:
It does not surprise me that you have had to endure "racist" comments from I'm sure very well meaning individuals. Notice I say racist in parentheses because I'm sure these people have no idea that they are racist.
I can tell you this: by following your dreams and not settling, you will only attract people to you who will accept you fully. You'll never have to question if someone is spending time with you under false pretensee. You will have weeded out the users and losers from those people who truly care for you and want the best for you.
And another thing, who cares about what other people think or say? At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live your life. Nay-sayers are off doing their own thing, as you should be.
As you already know and you don't even need me to tell you, you're doing the right thing.
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